Meta Bisschop begins life as a feisty, outgoing, happy and mischievous child. The youngest daughter of a poor postman and a German mother, Meta grows up in a city that was not of strategic importance during WWII. She struggles with her desire to be taller, older, richer, a boy and considered important enough to warrant being given a large portion of dessert. 

     When the war begins, everything changes. Scared by what she sees, her suspicions about her father’s activities, and extreme deprivation, Meta becomes a shadow of her former self, losing all interest in making friends or even getting into mischief. Her constant anxiety is exacerbated by der Stiefel, a Nazi soldier who she believes is watching her. Meta keeps her brave face throughout it all—until she doesn’t even care if she dies.

      After the war ends, Meta first regains her tendency towards getting into trouble and then her spunk and outgoing nature. But all is not well. Illness plagues the family, and Meta pursues her dream of becoming a physician.  Unfortunately, discrimination against anyone with German connections, her gender, and the family’s poverty make it impossible. Discouraged, Meta has to decide whether to give up trying and pretend she doesn’t care or pursue those dreams that are possible. This will require much more of her than just a brave face.